Preface: I just wrote an unbelievably brilliant post on narrative summary versus dramatized scenes, and somehow I lost it all before posting. About which I can only say, oh, bitchcakes. I shall attempt to reconstruct that post, but it won't be anywhere nearly as utterly, fantastically great as the original post was. I had a joke about Xeno and everything.
I have been expanding a great deal of the narrative summary in my manuscript into dramatized scenes. There are two good reasons for this:
1. Long stretches of narrative summary (which we writers tend to do when we've got a load of expository material we want to dump onto the unsuspecting reader) are boring.
2. I am trying to deepen my characters in this revision, and you don't get character in narrative summary. You only get character in drama, so summarization is out and dramatization is in. I'm leaving some narrative summary, of course, but where I have characters who are only shown in summary, I am dramatizing those scenes.
Here is an example from my manuscript:
King Hamlet defeats Fortinbras, summarized. (This is quite short.)
King Hamlet defeats Fortinbras, dramatized. (This is much longer. And still a rough draft.)
The first version gets the job done. It tells you about the king and who he is, and lets you know that Hamlet and Horatio witnessed the king kill Fortinbras in single combat over a border dispute in Poland. It also sets up certain parallel plots and foreshadows some other stuff, but that's not important. The information the reader needs is all there.
The second version, though, shows you Hamlet and Horatio on the way to the battle, shows you how they each feel about the battle beforehand, shows you King Hamlet in action, and shows you the nasty getting-killed-by-a-big-man-with-a-sharp-sword reality. Hopefully, it's better story-telling, and you come away from it with a better idea of who the characters are than you do from the first version. At least, that's what I'm trying to do. Let me know if I'm wrong, will you?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
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12 comments:
I'm really curious to know how Xeno figures in...
Scott,
This is fantastic! I actually remembered your first version quite well. It was summarized, but not by that much. The King's character came through loud and clear there. But, in your revised version, the entire situation comes to life. We get the King, but we also get a much better idea of the setting and the surrounding people. Most importantly, Horatio is bruoght to life here. I love his fear and his attempts to act brave, or at least nonchalant. I love how he slips on the ice. The licking of the blade is a great touch too! Excellent revisions.
Davin
Scott, returning the favor and glad I am.
Your points on summarization versus dramatization are well made. Also, your example was more than helpful. I began to think of a few scenes in my own WiP that could use similar revisions, though I'm still working on whether I should continue to edit before I start writing afresh or continue writing and edit when I'm done. Either way, I will certainly be taking a page out of your book, though not literally, Hamlet wouldn't fit well in my novel, though it takes place in England (yes, I know Hamlet is in Denmark, but Shakespeare and whatnot).
I'm doing the same thing in my manuscript, except I'm working with 3rd-person narrative, which is highly annoying.
Scott, is the grass always greener on the other side?
Tara Maya,
A friend of mine, upon hearing that the ms keeps getting longer no matter how much I cut out, and that I sometimes think I'll never get to the final page of it during these revisions, referred to my book as "Xeno's Manuscript," in a nod to the arrow paradox which claims that motion is an illusion. See? Hi-sterical!
Davin,
Thanks for the encouragement! The new version is still rough, but I'm glad to hear that Horatio's coming to life (I feel like Victor Frankenstein). The whole expanded scene is foreshadowing, I hope. My favorite line is:
“It is burning,” I said. “The whole town.”
David,
Thanks for dropping by! If you want my opinion, you should revise the big-picture stuff before you do any editing at the word or sentence level (line edits, I mean), because line edits waste time if you end up cutting sentences you've spent hours polishing.
Justus,
To the best of my knowledge, the grass is greener everywhere but my yard.
Scott,
The new version is SLIGHTLY rough, but only ever so slightly. It flows quite well.
I think you're moving in the right direction. Trust my expertise.
Davin,
That's good to hear. I never know if I'm even writing in English when revising.
Justus,
Thanks! Your instincts are as good as anyone else's here.
I have found that showing is usually the way to go - even if it takes longer to get there. Only in some instances do I tell. It's hard not to "infodump" but when I focus on showing the characterization instead of telling, amazing things happen. I can see that this is happening with your work as well. Great job!
This is exactly the sort of thing I'm working on. Nice post! So sorry about the original being lost. I'm sure it was completely brilliant!
This is for Davin, ya rapscallion! *shakes fist at you like he means business*
Xeno's Manuscript is a problem I know all too well. :)
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