Friday, January 15, 2010

Chapter Sixteen, random excerpt

Cocke stood by Hope at the counter, where Hope looked over the store's selection of bonnets. A woman, the shopkeeper's wife, stood behind the counter and held up a small mirror in which Hope judged the suitability and charm of each bonnet. Bull came up to them and stood next to Cocke. He looked from Hope to the other woman and saw that the shopkeeper's wife was, by any objective standard, a prettier woman than Hope. Bull also saw that Cocke only had eyes for Hope, and he saw that the shopkeeper, who pretended to be sorting buttons or some other notions a few paces down the counter, was also watching Hope, with a look he was sure to have never given his wife. Hope pulled off a bonnet and tossed it aside, reaching for another one. She laughed, more loudly than most other women would laugh, her mouth open just a little wider, her head a little farther forward, her shoulders and bosom shaking with her laughter and there was nothing in her manner that told a man to stay away, that she was anything like a closed door, and she blinked her big bird eyes at Cocke and laughed at her own reflection in the small mirror and smiled at the shopkeeper's wife and glanced at the shopkeeper who blushed and turned his face away and Hope caught sight of Bull and laughed again.

wordcountometer = 45,205!

3 comments:

  1. Nice. I worry about Hope's big bird eyes, though. =) I'm picturing yellow with feathers.

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  2. Yeah, I've talked about her big eyes, and about her bird eyes, but I've been afraid to talk about her big bird eyes because then she just wants the other characaters to tell her how to get to Sesame Street.

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  3. This is nice, Scott. I'm loving the voice you've got in this novel from the excerpts I've read. Things just seem to string along and along and along until you get to a rising point that just makes it all click. I like that.

    I honestly didn't think of Sesame Street when I read "big bird eyes," which is surprising because, you know, I have a kid and Big Bird is a staple around here. I was too caught up in the description. Still, it might be something to worry about, I don't know.

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