Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Chapter Nine, first page

The king's generals and captains assembled on horseback in the courtyard the next morning. The sky was cloudless and hard, the blue of agate. I stood next to the prince and his horse, shivering under my cloak. Prince Hamlet looked fine in his armor, very like a hero of old. I thought it a pity that at any moment the king would be discovered dead in his chamber. The prince's valiant sally against Jaaperson would not happen.

"You look very much the warrior this day, my lord."

"Thank you, Horatio. But where is my father? His squire left to seek him a quarter hour ago."

"It is curious, my lord. The army hath never waited for the king; he hath always been the first man ready to do battle. I hope no ill has befallen him."

"Tush, my friend. Such talk brings bad luck. Ah, here comes the king."


  1. Ooooh, intrigue. I like the mystery. So who's dead if it's not the king, and who's going to be in trouble for botching the attempt?

    I know you won't tell me but I had to pose the question.

  2. Anne: Oh, those are exactly the questions. And some dangerous folks are going to be demanding answers by the end of this chapter. Excitement!

  3. Yes! Finally and excerpt! Nicely done. I always love your dialogue and how it pushes things forward so well. I keep trying to do that and I'm not sure I'm accomplishing it yet.

    I love the word "tush" used that makes me giggle because I'm immature like that.

  4. Michelle, I always worry about using dialogue for exposition, but this seems okay to me. And "tush" here rhymes with "hush," missy.

  5. I know it rhymes with hush, but that doesn't mean it rhymes with hush in my silly brain. :P