Sunday, July 8, 2012

author photos

I recently noticed that I promised my publisher that I'd have author photos to them by the end of April. The end of April was some time ago, and my publisher does not yet have the promised photos. Half of the reason for this is that I really hate having my picture taken, and the other half is that I really hate having my picture taken. It's not like my looks are going to move any units, anyway. But I have begun thinking that perhaps I should make good on the promise to my publisher and furnish some sort of digital image of my face.

My favorite photo of me is this one, taken about eight years ago:

I'm sure it's too small to be useful and I no longer seem to possess the larger-size file. One alternative to this tiny picture is the following image, taken in 1992 or thereabouts:

But is that really the image I want to stand behind? It's not exactly the picture of the sensitive fellow with above-average linguistic skills one associates with a literary novelist, is it? So how about this one:

I think it's got "William Butler Yeats in a pensive mood" written all over it. You can trust that guy to write quality books that deal with the existential questions, but maybe he looks too broody. How about this next one, that I call "The moment of inspiration"?

All well and fine, I'm sure, but not really an honest portrayal of the author. I'd feel like less of a pretentious git if people knew what I really looked like when I was working on a book, wouldn't I? So how about the "Chris Hitchens the day after" photo:

Yeah, that's more like it. But if I was going to be completely honest with my readership, supposing I ever have one, I should just give them this next picture, which I call "Mark E. Smith meets Scalzi":

Going too far, isn't it? I suppose so. There's nothing else for it, then, but to send my publishers the "creative thinking man" photo and call it a day:


  1. Hehehe, that last one makes me smile. I actually love that pic of you! I think my other favorite is the violin one, but yes, that is way too small. The other one I like is the one you titled "moment of inspiration" :)

    This last author photo shoot I just had done is the first one where there were more than two pictures I really, really like. I think I will be keeping those pics for a long time to come, and will not have to go through another photo shoot for a few years.

  2. I like "Yeats in a pensive mood" and "Chris Hithchens the day after".

    How've you been? I've been moving. Haven't been around much at all.

  3. The photos of me with the stubble and the bathrobe were taken while I was trying to figure out how to shut off the stupid webcam built into my laptop. Sometimes the application just turns itself on. Thanks, Toshiba! I actually like the second one, with me bent over the keyboard looking at all the special function keys.

    Mighty Reader has taken a couple of photos I might actually like, so I'll look at them this evening and possibly email a file to Rhett soon.

    Michelle, I didn't know you wrote Hamlet! That pic reminds me that I need to get a haircut soon. Your new author photos are plenty nice. I will never wear anything as colorful as that dress.

    Anne, we've been fabulous! We are not moving. Why are you moving? Where are you moving?

  4. I agree with Anne on your photos. Those two are pretty nice! I hope you're able to find something that you really like, Scott. April was a long time ago.

  5. To answer your questions -- my daughter and I moved one house away from my parents. They're turning into "those kinds of old people" so when the house became available we grabbed it. It makes my life so much easier with them so close, and so much harder at the same time. But someone needs to watch out for them and I've been nominated.

    I'm glad you and Mighty Reader are doing so well. I'm looking forward to your book release.

  6. "It's not exactly the picture of the sensitive fellow with above-average linguistic skills one associates with a literary novelist, is it?"

    You may look superficially cheerful (drunk?) but on the inside you're a suffering artist. I can tell. Plus with this photo you'll tap into the profitable "fans of boy bands" market.

  7. A few of them may confuse your readers: wait, what? Kiefer Sutherland wrote a book?

  8. I haven't heard the Sutherland comparison for a long time. It was worse in the 80s when we both had stupid haircuts.